Remember John Gray's Men Are from Mars, Women are from Venus book? A lot of it resonated with me. (It didn't hurt that parts of it were hilarious.)
One of the biggest takeaways was about the difference between how men and women get things done. We women are multi-tasking machines. Wow - we thought we were pretty hot stuff, didn't we?
But what got overlooked back then was about the dark side of that. We were too busy patting ourselves on the back to notice the cost (or at least I was until I learned the hard way).
Too often we can't maintain all those balls in the air, plates spinning furiously, and pay for it with an illness, overwhelm, or frazzled nerves (or worse yet, martyrdom).
Even when we DO keep it all flowing, if we take a closer look, we'll see fraying edges:
We don't do things as well as we could.
We don't enjoy things as much as we could.
We're all over the place, scattered, our mind always somewhere else, hovering around like a hummingbird looking for its next flower.
And MOST importantly, in many ways, we might not get as much done as men.
WHAT? What blasphemous words did I just dare to utter???
Oh sure the errands might get done, the socks picked up, the dishes put away, and the little day-to-day stuff, but what about the BIG meaningful important stuff? The big project? The new business started? The regular exercise? The tasks that require deep thought and consistent effort?
Too easily that stuff gets shoved to the side for more urgent but less important items on the list.
Sometimes we gotta focus like a man.
Many men have a way of putting blinders on and blocking everything else out that we can emulate and learn from. When it's time to see a task through to completion and stick with it, the ability to focus is a blessing and a discipline.
If there's an important task you must finish soon, Give Yourself Permission to give it your FULL attention in chunks of time until it's done (put on the timer even).
Let the other stuff go.
Do not multi-task.
Be fully present with one thing, feeling centered, grounded, and intent on your task.
You'll be amazed at how much more you accomplish on the stuff that matters most!
I’ve learned a lot more about men and women since I read Gray's book, but in June I had the pleasure of getting a crash course in Men 101 from a fabulous organization called PAX. I went to a free intro at a friend’s home and really enjoyed the loving supportive environment and thoughtfully presented information.
Earlier this month I attended a weekend workshop called Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women that shared deeply powerful life-changing info about our relationships with men, boys, fathers, sons, brothers, coworkers, friends, and romantic partners.
Check out PAX’s workshops, DVDs, and books.
I’ll be hostessing a free PAX intro workshop on Sept 25 at my home (in Marin) lead by the wonderful Wendy Bemis. If you’re interested let me know. We'd love to have you join us!
Now get focused, lady! The big important stuff won't wait.
Cheers and Love,