Reveal More of Your Best Self
by Admiring Others

Those traits and skills you aspire to improve upon in yourself are valuable clues to your Best Self — that "best" version of ourselves we live by being who we REALLY want to be (when we honor that inner desire to fully get to know and express who we are).

Janine is so good at thinking before she speaks. And Hank seems so deft at handling stressful situations without getting upset.

There are always good qualities to admire in those around us. Whether it be our friend's communication skills, our father's insights, or coworker's clever approach to problem solving, pay attention to what you value and appreciate so you can cultivate it in your best self.

  1. What qualities do you admire in other people?
  2. Name five of those qualities. For example, intensity, honesty, courageousness, loyalty, etc. Brainstorm on it for a few minutes or take your time to come up with a fuller list. Then choose a few to focus on each week.
  3. Which of those do you want to have MORE of yourself? (Focus on the ones with the most energy for you.) For example, suppose you choose kindness, having strong faith, optimism, courage, and creativity.
  4. What action can you take to emulate those traits in your life? Fill in the sentence form below with your words for each quality you chose.

    I feel like a more __________ (name the trait) person by ___________ (name an action).

    I feel like a kinder person when I smile more often at strangers.

    I feel like a more honest person when I am upfront about my emotions and intentions with myself.

    I feel like a more optimistic person when I practice acknowledging the positives in my life if I start getting bogged down in negative thinking.

You get the gist. It's great practice (and a fun way) to bring out more of your best self and to build confidence through taking action. After all, these qualities are nice and wonderful, but when they're just vague notions they don't mean much to being your best self. Applying them through a tangible action makes them real and practical in your life. (You can also include a picture on your vision board that represents a quality you want to cultivate more of in yourself.)

Now try the exercise with five of the qualities you named.

Remember: You are an amazing, wonderful, whole, and perfect being RIGHT NOW. You don't need to improve upon yourself to break even or to be loved and loving. You are utterly loveable as you are.

BUT if you want to like yourself more, have more fun, feel more free, and be more confident, living as your best self is the only way to go. It's the most fun way you can live as it's the most YOU.

Practice doing things little things that make you feel better about yourself and in appreciating and enjoying others more. Raise your awareness of how you want to feel, act, live, and (perhaps most importantly) think as these add up the kind of person you want to be. Doing so encourages your best self to emerge more and more.

Admiring others is not the same as comparing ourselves. Noticing the positives in other people is done with respect, love, and appreciation, not in tearing ourselves down or by intentionally "critiquing" anyone.

Some of these things will not be easy to do, but much like learning a new sport or dance move, they get easier with practice. For example, if you're really shy but you want to be more outgoing, it's going to be uncomfortable taking actions that you're not used to doing. Or if you're really not used to being honest with yourself, it's going to take self-discipline to slow down and look within to figure out what is compelling you to act in a way you don't care for or to say things (or even THINK things) that make you not feel good. Birthing your best self is a lifelong process for most of us and it has its challenges and successes like any journey. Be gentle with yourself and keep practicing. Eventually it will feel so natural that you won't even have to think about it, it will just be how you live.

You really can be who you want to be, as long as it's really something that feels right in your heart, like it's the real you trying to emerge. And if you try and try and it still doesn't feel right, then regroup and assess if that's truly important to you or if you're trying to force something (either to please someone else or if you've changed and the original idea no longer fits who you are now). Be flexible and loving with yourself and enjoy stretching that snug comfort zone out. Like a full and loving heart or a curious mind, the bigger the better!

Pay attention to people who intrigue you to see what characteristics, personality traits, or style they possess that attracts you. Word of encouragement? Most likely, there is already some of that gem in you but you could develop it further. (People with whom we have nothing in common with nor any shared interests or similarities rarely spark our interest — like attracts like!)

You're meant to shine and to be who you really are deep down. Nurture those "seed" qualities within you and live your fullest best life!

Learn More About Your Authentic Self

Get Clear on Your Vision

Create Your Best Self Collage

Why Judging Others Poisons Us

Take the Dream Interview

What's Your Ideal Environment?

Stop Settling for Less Than You Deserve

Are You Making Choices That Get You to Your Dream?

Return from Best Self to Confident Vision Living

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