Don't Compare Yourself to Others,
Focus on YOU

A lot of mental and emotional misery can enter your life when you compare yourself to other people. A LOT of misery. Did I mention misery?

Evaluating or judging other people and holding that up against ourselves is usually worthless. You know why? Because you are comparing their OUTSIDE with your INSIDE.

That's comparing apples to oranges! Not only is it horribly unfair to YOU, but it's completely meaningless.

That neighbor of yours who always dresses so fashionably and seems unflappable may have a secret prescription medication addiction or owe thousands in back taxes.

That gal at the gym with the perfect body may be intensely insecure about her lack of formal education or spend all of her free time feverishly working out just to maintain that size.

We may think we want their life, or body, or career, or whatever we perceive as valuable, but we really have no clue — we're just looking at the outside wrapping. You just don't know and probably never will know.

Whatever "story" we create in our minds about them is just that — a story, fiction. We don't know what their life is like for them, what problems they have, or how they feel about it.

You never know what goes on behind closed doors.

It goes the other way, too: You may feel like a wreck inside and others may perceive you as confident and self-assured. Depends on who is judging and how they feel about themselves and their lives that day as to how they perceive you.

Try not to spend many thoughts about other people's motives or agendas. It is a waste of time. When you compare yourself, it takes energy away from focusing on YOUR dreams. And worst of all, it can make you doubt yourself. And that's the opposite of that confident and healthy life we're building. Compare yourself only to that best you that you want to become so you stay focused.

No one is really paying attention to you.

Really.

I know someone who used to not want to go out to restaurants because she felt like everyone was looking at her. She dressed, looked, and acted like a completely normal person so I assure you this was all in her mind and it made life less fun for her. Most people barely even notice us because they are all too busy worrying about themselves! It's true to the point of being humorous.

And what if they ARE looking at you? They are most likely doing absentmindedly, or because they find you attractive (we humans have a habit of staring at beautiful people), or you look like someone they know, or because they are comparing themselves to see if THEY match up to YOU!

People generally want to like other people. I can't prove that to you, but I believe that in my heart. And believing that makes my life easier, freer, and more fun, and helps me keep reaching for my goals, so it's a belief I'm keeping.

(Yes, there are some energy sucker people out there and they are to be avoided. But the pain they cause is nothing like the painful existence is must be to actually BE them. Another belief that serves me well and helps me feel more empathetic towards even the crankiest of folks.)

As much as you can, try not to spend any of YOUR precious energy looking to others for validation. You are too wonderful and special to care what they think or to compare yourself to anyone else. When you're working your healthy plan with confidence and self-trust, like-minded people will naturally gravitate to you and support you.

All you need to focus on is you. And she's enough! Focus on making YOU proud of yourself by working on your goals and you can't go wrong.

Happy journeying! Keep up the good work.

By the way, admiring others, without comparing, is perfectly natural and healthy. In fact, it can give some great clues to getting to know your best you!

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How Judging Others Hurts Us

Learn About Your Best Self

How Admiring Others Helps Us

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